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Sticking it to The Man
The Sheik | July 2017

There are plenty of things that confuse me about people’s behaviour. Spend some time on the knobtracks, what some people call ‘highways,’ around the place and you’ll find all sorts of stuff that defies human logic. In fact, it probably defies chimpanzee logic as well. But I can’t for the life of me get my head around people, supposedly sensible people, that push for a fishing licence across Queensland.
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It’s not that I don’t trust Skipper, it’s just that I might not necessarily trust him in certain situations. Like, for instance, being stuck on a small boat in cold weather with him is one of those times I wouldn’t trust him, mostly with my raincoat.
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Recently Boobies and I had to cross a bar with a very nasty reputation for flipping boats. Apparently there are a number of things you need to avoid when you are in this situation. Actually, now that I think about that, I should explain myself there. I shouldn’t say ‘you should avoid doing,’ because it depends, of course, on whether you want to cross the bar without flipping your boat over.
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Just about every fishing magazine I pick up to read through will have a column trying to give me a guilty conscience about how I’ve got to take my kids fishing. If I don’t take my kids fishing, apparently, I should be taken up before the UN Human Rights Commission for breaching their inalienable rights to proper exposure to quality recreational facilities. That’s the kid’s rights, not the UN Human Rights Commission’s rights. Right?
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Hats off to a top piece of material
The Sheik | March 2017

I lost my hat

Now how ‘bout that

It flew from the back of Boobies ship

Before we’d even backed it off the trailer

I searched the best part of Australia

From Buderim to Mooloolaba Slip

But no damn hat

Just four dead cats.

The brim was flat

My good old hat

It stank of sweat and cow manure

I’d shaped it in the cattle yards

And Turkey Beach and at The Hards

And pierced the crown with trebles and lures

I might get a tatt

Of my dear old hat.

I’m ...
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The ultimate boat test of ultimate destiny
The Sheik | February 2017

I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again. It’s a mystery to me why the Dudds haven’t been signed up by a boat builder. If there is one group on the planet that would advertise how tough and durable your product is, it would be the Dudds.
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Get coated in rain
The Sheik | October 2016

There’s only one thing worse than having water drip feeding down your Birdsville Track and that’s having wintery ice-cold water dripping down your Birdsville Track. If like me, you fish out of an open boat, then you need to have options for when Huey sends her down.
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Learning from the ‘experts’
The Sheik | September 2016

Occasionally, when I get tired of putting red-hot pokers into my eyes, or twisting parts of my anatomy around a barbed wire splint, I turn on the television, specifically to watch a fishing programme or two.
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Sort it out later
The Sheik | August 2016

My better third starts to get concerned when she sees me cleaning the boat. And I mean cleaning the boat, not taking the rods, cast nets and dead herring out of it. It’s not a common thing for me to do and once she sees it, she knows there are traumatic times ahead.
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